I came home tonight to find a suspiciously shaped package in the mail.
JB Tool Sales… I think I’ve ordered from them before, but not recently. I’ve been good, and not ordered a new knife since Thanksgiving! Promise!
So… I open the package, and see familiar art work….
I laugh at the back stating the I should “ask my local retailers about other quality Z-Hunter products.” After all, this would require them to *have* quality products.
I open the box, and see what madness lurks inside.
“Apocalypse Survivor” medallion with a bio-hazard symbol on it. Claw marks? Seat belt cutter that wont cut paper! And the profile of a demon skull with fangs! Wait. Is that a lanyard hole on the flipper tab? Oh! Wait! I’ve seen this on some “super heavy duty” knives, It’s for sticking a pin or paperclip, or something through to act as a safety! Oh, and I think that nub on the end is supposed to be a glass breaker made out of the same soft steel as the liner.
Well, only thing left to do is open it up….
Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtan!
BWAHAHAAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Oh god… those serrations…. and the tiny green hand prints….
Ia! Ia! Cthulhu fhtagn!
To the mystery man that sent this to me, I hope you’re proud of yourself.
Merry Christmas, you filthy animals.
I win!