{"id":4851,"date":"2019-12-20T20:11:49","date_gmt":"2019-12-21T02:11:49","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/gunscarstech.com\/?p=4851"},"modified":"2019-12-20T20:11:49","modified_gmt":"2019-12-21T02:11:49","slug":"a-mystery-box-arrived","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/gunscarstech.com\/?p=4851","title":{"rendered":"A Mystery Box Arrived"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

I came home tonight to find a suspiciously shaped package in the mail.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"
Well, it’s not ticking…<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

JB Tool Sales… I think I’ve ordered from them before, but not recently. I’ve been good, and not ordered a new knife since Thanksgiving! Promise!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So… I open the package, and see familiar art work….<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"
Sure sign that this way leads to madness.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

I laugh at the back stating the I should “ask my local retailers about other quality Z-Hunter products.” After all, this would require them to *have* quality products.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I open the box, and see what madness lurks inside.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"
This is where the mindless giggling begins<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

“Apocalypse Survivor” medallion with a bio-hazard symbol on it. Claw marks? Seat belt cutter that wont cut paper! And the profile of a demon skull with fangs! Wait. Is that a lanyard hole on the flipper tab? Oh! Wait! I’ve seen this on some “super heavy duty” knives, It’s for sticking a pin or paperclip, or something through to act as a safety! Oh, and I think that nub on the end is supposed to be a glass breaker made out of the same soft steel as the liner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Well, only thing left to do is open it up….<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"

Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtan!
<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

BWAHAHAAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Oh god… those serrations…. and the tiny green hand prints….<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ia! Ia! Cthulhu fhtagn!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To the mystery man that sent this to me, I hope you’re proud of yourself.

Merry Christmas, you filthy animals.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I came home tonight to find a suspiciously shaped package in the mail. JB Tool Sales… I think I’ve ordered from them before, but not recently. I’ve been good, and not ordered a new knife since Thanksgiving! Promise! So… I open the package, and see familiar art work…. I laugh at the back stating the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4851","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/gunscarstech.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4851","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/gunscarstech.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/gunscarstech.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gunscarstech.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gunscarstech.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4851"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/gunscarstech.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4851\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/gunscarstech.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4851"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gunscarstech.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4851"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gunscarstech.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4851"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}